STOP SWERVING

I was minding my own business and doing my usual routine of playing chauffeur to hubby and the Hodge Crew.  Normally when I am out and about, I find myself running late.  However, on this particular weeknight, my timing was impeccable, until I got behind an indecisive driver.  You know the type that straddles two lanes.   It was evident to me that he didn't know whether to turn right or left, which lane to choose, nor where he was headed.  The only certainty was that no one was going to pass him until his mind was made up.  I wish I could just pluck him off the road.   I hated the fact that someone else's decisions were making me late and keeping me from moving forward.  So me and the driver began to have a side conversation in my mind.  (Ok, I was actually talking out loud and my kids were beginning to question whether it really takes all that to get my point across to someone who's not listening... Pin that thought for a later post.) "Which lane do you want?"  I began to rant.  "Pick a lane already!"  I exclaimed. 

Just as quickly as the words trickled out my mouth, the tables turned and the questions were directed towards me.  It was as if God said, "Thank you for bring this up. I've been wanting to talk to you about this for some time now." The more I reflected on my questions to the driver, the more the door opened for self reflection / self inventory. It was time to look at the man in the mirror. Often times, the majority of my focus is outward because little or no work is required. There is no accountability needed.  Basically, seeing where someone else falls short is easy peasy than to look at the splinter in my own eye. (Matthew 7:1-5)   Shining the light on yourself, well that's a whole other can of paint that magnifies your blemishes and shortcomings. Who really wants to do that? It's quite uncomfortable and you have to be mentally ready.

Consequently, I became aware that I was about to do the tango with myself. Coming to grips with the fact I may not like the me I see, was perplexing and hard to digest. It's time to get down and dirty.  The gloves are on, but the mask has to come off. Moreover, I was vulnerable and exposing my inner turmoil. No more lying and deceiving myself.  The discomfort at times was unbearable. I felt like I was under friendly fire.   The truth hurts, but subsequently freedom will soon follow. It's the truth that makes you free (John 8:32) not the lies we tell ourselves to justify us not changing.

From this one driving scenario, came a plethora of questions fired right at me.  Instead of "which lane do you want?", the question was "how long are you going to straddle the fence?"  "How long are you going to be double minded and lukewarm?" "How long are you going to do things your way?" "How long are you going to play it safe and stay on the sidelines?" "How long are you going to be disobedient, rebellious, self absorbed, inconsistent, and stagnant?" How long do you want to play God or are you gonna let God be God and Lord of your life?" "How long before you realize that there are people watching you and generations following after you that need you focused and disciplined?"

I could hear the voice of a dear pastor who preached a sermon titled, "Neighbor, Oh Neighbor, MAKE UP YOUR MIND!

I saw how the driver indecisiveness slowed down traffic, delayed me reaching my destination, and blocked others from getting by.  How are my choices affecting those around me?  How am I holding up myself, my family, my church family, my friends, my neighbors, and my community?

OUR TIME HERE ON EARTH IS TOO PRECIOUS. We think we have all the time in the world, but tomorrow, on this earth, is not promised to no one. The beauty of it all is that we have the right to choose to do what we will do with the life that is given to us. Moreover, the choices we make can be either detrimental or advantageous.  Don't be deceived,  sooner or later someone will feel the aftershocks or tremors of your choices. So it's time to get in you Lane. Think about those coming behind you. Think of the consequences of your actions and stop saying it it what it is because it is what you actually have made it or allowed it to be. Your progress or delay is because of your choices.

I'm still digesting all the questions and I haven't answered them all. It's a process, but I am willing to look at me and take my eyes off of everyone else.